Posts (page 2)
It's been six weeks since Easter, which I'm coming to regard as a sort of personal turning point in my life. So much has happened since then that it seems really rather incredible.
One of the big things was/is the worst bout of ill health since the crazy delirium-filled days of the raging kidney infection back in 2003. This time around I caught a cold which led to another cold and then another, which led to my catching what my doctor called "a flu-like virus", complicated by chest, throat and eye infections. Nice. In the end I had to accept the necessity of antibiotics, of which I was given a 7-day supply coupled with a sick note booking me off work for a week and a bit.
I suppose I shouldn't be surprised at how wiped out all this has left me feeling, but I still find it remarkable to think how completely shot my immune system seems to be. Again, given the sustained stress of the Ping Wales years, the lack of regular exercise, the steadily declining diet and the perhaps inevitable bouts of depression, I'm really not sure why this culmination should surprise me at all, but there you go. People have an uncanny knack for self-delusion, which the body will always attempt to strip away using the only language it has.
Back in February, Andy drew my attention to this article in The Guardian: Upsides of being down. My favourite excerpt: Regardless of the reason for falling into depression, the journey has the potential to make us better equipped, in a general sense, for life. If we are too busy to think and feel, to be mindful, depression might represent the first opportunity to take an honest inventory of ourselves.
To which I say, true that. ;-)
I'm now notionally recovered from the virus and the infections, but I find I am very easily fatigued. In essence, this means I'm forced to pay attention to things I previously blithely ignored; making time to eat regularly, to rest my mind and body, to consciously assess how much I can realistically achieve in a given time period without over-exerting myself. These days I'm finding if I do overreach my limits, the payback is a lot more severe than it has ever been. It's a mental struggle to adjust to this feeling that I am not invincible or even infinitely flexible. :-p It's a hard lesson in mindfulness and respect. But as my mother used to say, back in the day, "As jy wil nie hoor nie, dan moet jy voel!"[1] So very, very true, and so ironic I can't help but laugh. :-)
[1] Literally: If you don't want to listen, then you have to feel. Usually the precursor to a hiding.
Thanks to the lovely Lottie, I am now the proud recipient of the world's first crocheted lens cap, pictured complete with attachment loop so it doesn't meet the same fate as its non-crocheted predecessor. Woooooo. Those wanting to follow in my trend-setting footsteps, here's where you find out more. :-) UK orders don't have to go through etsy; drop me a line and I'll hook you up. (That's a crochet pun, btw. Did you see what I did there?)
The new (outrageous) hair. :-)
Walking back from the library today, I heard a voice calling out to me as I passed. "I love your outrageous hair!"
Yay, it's a new year. It's strange, it just doesn't feel like the beginning of the year, here, because everything either 'starts' in the new financial year, or the new academic year. Starting a new calendar/diary here doesn't have the same sense of gravitas and promise that it does in a country where the academic year co-incides with the calendar year, as it does back home. I'm not sure how much of the way I feel is due to my changing life circumstances, and how much due to the sense of displacement and disorientation that one just expects to feel as an ex-pat. I've acclimatised to many things since I first arrived in the UK (way back when in 2001), but this feels like one of those things to which I may never grow accustomed -- like celebrating my birthday in the summer rather than the winter. :-) Anyway. Life has been topsy turvy since November last year, and seemed to just get worse as the end of the year loomed. Now it sort of feels like I've turned a corner, though it may or may not turn out to be into one of those little streets that looks like it will get you where you want to go, but mysteriously leads you to a point which is miles from anywhere you want to be. Having milked that ponderous metaphor, I can finally get to the point and say: I'm taking a break from updating this site, until I know what's what. Catch you on the flip side. :-)
Two days ago, I'd never heard of iliac passion. Two nights ago, I dreamt I was hurling chunks of ick. Not the usual ick. You know, *that* sort of ick. The kind that gives meaning to the phrase 'fecal vomiting'. Argh. What does this say about my psyche when I know (not absolutely, but fairly certainly) that I'm physically well and not currently suffering from any condition that would bring about this kind of reaction?
Yesterday, for the first time in longer than I can remember, I clipped my nails rather than biting them. Huzzah for a bad habit, broken.
Looking out of my new office window, I saw a little boy standing at the zebra crossing, waving shyly, but with enthusiasm, to the firemen in a fire engine as it went wailing past. I wondered if any of them waved back, and if there was another little boy waiting for them at the end of their journey.
I've lived under a rock for the past while, so I only discovered today that The Organ has disbanded.
In Memoriam, my favourite song of theirs:
